47 Meters Down (2017) film review

It’s that time of the year again, folks, in which big studios try to grab as much cash as possible from dumb movies that aren’t worth your time. This is only the second one I’ve seen this week (Girls Trip and Emoji Movie reviews to be released in the next few days).

Quick rundown: two sisters go on holiday to Mexico, they decide to get in a cage attached to a boat to go see some sharks, cable snaps and they have to make their way back up with a lack of oxygen and without getting the bends (aka decompression sickness, not the second studio album by Radiohead. Who would wanna miss out on those sweet jams?)

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Is this flick worth your time and money? Not particularly. Even if you’re expecting very little from it, you’re still going to be disappointed and angry at the characters. The women in this film are so dang stupid with almost everything they do – if it weren’t for the three strangers in the screening with my friend and I, we would have been calling out at them at least every 10 minutes.

Don’t get me wrong, I still had an entertaining time with this film in the “it’s so stupid, it’s almost funny” kind of way – this was the whole reason I even wanted to see this film. The plot itself is something that could be interesting, but definitely not interesting enough to be drawn out for a feature length (even if you had a great, well-known writer and director behind it). I just feel like the stupid in this film wasn’t quite in the realm of funny for the most part, and was more just bothersome.

I think the best way to view this film is probably while stoned with a handful of friends*.

 

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Was there anything at all I enjoyed about this film? Yes, there was.

As I said, I did get some giggles out of this, just not nearly as many as I’d hoped. The main thing I enjoyed was a few of the shots throughout it; the cinematography in this was really nothing that impressive (in fact, considering the fact they have the advantage of hardly any films being shot/set 95% underwater, the cinematography was actually a huge let down. There was so much they could’ve done but didn’t!), but the three shots I’m about to describe really make me wonder why the rest was so lacklustre:

  1. Very early in, there’s a brief scene where the sisters are talking on the balcony area of their hotel (or wherever they’re staying) at night, with one sat out there facing the night sky, a thousand twinkling stars looking back at her as the sister walks out. It was a very calming and pretty shot that (while most the work would’ve been done in post production) was done a lot better than most night-time settings.
  2. When the women are in the cage and are first lowered into the sea, the blue of the ocean is such a perfect shade, and I couldn’t help feel the aw the sisters express as the fish swim past them (again, likely added in post production, but still highly enjoyable).
  3. This is the best of them all. This shot is so dang awesome, it’s almost worth sitting through this lame cash grab just to see; the sisters have been swimming up, one carrying the other up, and they re-light a flare so they can see if anything is coming towards them. They’ve been sat in darkness for a moment under the water, when suddenly everything lights up red and we see them centre screen with three sharks circled around them, teeth bearing. Of course, there’s a little suspension of disbelief in this, as it’s a mostly still shot and they sharks would have been coming in fast to chomp. In my opinion, I can let go of the realism of it for a moment (which I’m getting used to watching these moron characters) purely to enjoy the awesomeness of this shot.

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My final complaint is the acting. Again, I wasn’t expecting anything amazing, but you hope to see something better than what I would describe as “slightly better than the acting in a TV movie”. Like, c’mon guys, this is a $5,000,000 budget movie. I understand it’s probably very expensive to shoot underwater, but I’m sure you could have spent just a little more on some better actors.

My overall response to this summer flick: it’s a dumb film that was a little entertaining, but ultimately didn’t give me enough giggles to feel satisfied, and definitely needed more actual sharks in it (like, seriously, in the 89 minute run time, there’s almost definitely less than 10 minutes screen time for the actual sharks. I came here to see chomping, dang it!). If you’re interested in watching it, I’d recommend saving your money and waiting for it to go on Netflix (which I’m almost positive it will be).

 

 

*I do not advocate illegal drug use, nor inappropriate abuse of legal drugs. But, y’know, if that’s already the kind of thing you do, then who am I to tell you, a stranger, what to do with your body. I’d be a hypocrite to act as though I’ve never enjoyed a film while influenced by a toxin of some description. You do you, boo.

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